By the time I approach middle age, I have been witnessing many changes in my life and those around me. May be coming to a certain age triggers that questioning process in us. Most of us, we start to contemplate on the reality of our lives and inevitably we come face to face with that single question we have been ignoring for a long time; “Are we leading the lives we want to live?”, “Is this it?”
We start to reevaluate our life, our relationships, our work and our perception of life. With no specific gender, we all ask those questions to our souls, those questions that are almost impossible to answer. We ask those questions with such reluctancy, with a little bit of fear of what that answer might be, raising from within our cores. And although we know and feel what is at stake at the end of this process, what we might be loosing at the end, we still can’t prevent ourselves from this journey.
From what I have observed, I can say that women are generally more patient with this process. Men on the other hand, tend to find that space to claim their right to perceive their dreams. But this varies with the dynamic of the relationship. So, for the sake of converation, lets say, one side is usually is more reluctant to move on and the other is usually yearning for an other adventure.
But generally, the reluctant side, may be because of their nature or may be because of the circumstances they have been brought up into, usually unaware of an alternative, they start searching and finding beauty in all they do, they realize the potential and make it their reality within all those boundaries that was imposed upon them. Somehow with such wisdom; knowing that if happiness can not be maintained within the current circumstances, no matter where you are or who you run to in this life, you will not be able to find the happiness that you have been yearning for. May be they just realize that what ever they are searching for is already what they posses inside and only they have the power to awaken that desire to really live, be alive within themselves.
They somehow know that, if they can’t see the beauty within their current relationships and be at peace with all that picture they see, they will be caught up within the same cycle in their future relationships, be dealing with the same patterns once again. After weighing the possible options in their mind and in their heart, and in most cases without acting on an impulse, they start focusing on the beauty of what they already have. Isn’t this what life is about after all? To learn what you need to learn and somehow evolve, become a better version of your reality.
Every person we encounter is there for a reason. There is no good or bad. Whatever is their duty to deliver in your life, they do their part and move on.
Sometimes you see the reason why you have encountered each other in this lifeline. It happens immediately. You live the story right away. And sometimes, you still know it is for a purpose but that it will happen in its own time and place. You eventually surrender with the awareness that everything is linked with our perception.
During those lost times, if you close your eyes and take a deep breath and re-open them once again, may be with a clear mind and conscious, you can once again really see that who is standing in front of you. Once again remember that which bound you to the other in the first place.
Reminding me of a story a friend told me this weekend in Amsterdam. Aparently they were away on a pilgramage of some sort, within their knowledge or not, they had embarked on a journey to find each other once again.
During this vacation they have met a man, a messanger of some sort. That messenger has asked his wife to leave the room and then turned back to him and asked him a simple question “Describe your wifes earrings that she was wearing tonight.” He tried to give an answer but the reality he learned later on that she had no earings at all. The messanger asked 5 more questions about her appearance and my friend gave just one single right answer, which made him realize how little attention he was paying to his wife, how rarely he was really looking at her and seeing that initial soul he has met years ago, that he has fallen in love with. Realizing that the person does not really change but our perception alters, and we always hold the key to alter it the way we want to.
If you come at that cross road and decide to shift your perpection rather than the circumstances, I believe, you would be able to feel love once again… And if not, you can always walk away at peace and at ease with yourself. And the next step in your journey will be a level higher as you have battled your demons, made peace with them and moved on… Or…. Just may be, you may find peace at home, in what you currently have in hand, and decide to stay with dedication, love and appreciation.