No matter how much you work on yourself, how much you ground yourself and how much you come close to finding / living your reality, sometimes when your body is really tired and worn out, old habits find a route to kick back in… You suddenly find yourself in a meaningless anxiety stage and fear captivates you… Fear that panic attack might be surfacing once again, fear that your brain might be getting the best of you and consuming you once again, fear that you might fall again. And just like you did long ago, you take your pen and paper and start writing once again, this time to bring yourself to the present moment, to remind yourself that you have been through this and there is light at the end of the tunnel, that you are healthy and this is just a temporary game of the mind dominating over a tired body.
Once again, life reminds you that everything is designed for the humans, good things come hand in hand with not so good things in life and all you have is the reality you hold dear to your heart. The only reasonable thing to do is be grateful once again that you are strong and healthy … Just close your eyes and once rested; life still will be waiting for you. You just have to breathe and be patient! Breathe, focus on just that one thing you know and believe in this truth that resides within you. Breathe life back in and with every breath you give, release all that tension and anxiety which is a part of you but not that defines you.
After a long while this was the state of I mind I have found myself in couple days ago. Once again, I have found myself being the observer of my mind and realized how strongly it tends to dominate all that I know within my soul. So much so that, in that single moment, you tend to forget all that you know, being consumed in that negative state of mind. Today, I am grateful that I have faced my demons once again and am back into my element. Although I do believe that we are a part of the creator, I still know that we are humans and this life is designed to test our limits. And hence, appreciate once again the potential that I have to hold on to light that resides within me.
Just after all these recent experiences, today, I have come across with one of Jeff Foster’s talks; he was referring to that unchangeable essence we all posses… that core which still remains untouched regardless of the things happening in our lives, surpassing all the drama or happiness but remaining calm and centered and untouched. Now I know that, when in need, the only sane thing I can do is to refer to that truth within me, breathe, connect and follow its guidance. Although sometimes, it may be hard to hear that inner voice cluttered with the sound of our mind, believe that it is still there, and when you see the glimpse of that light within you, hold on to that and follow that hazy path back into your core… then, rest, cuddle into it, surrender and rest… That is my reality; my savior during those times is of which Jeff nicely referred in his talk; that reality of which I believe exists in all of us.
So, today, unfortunately there were no butterflies and happiness in my words but rather the verbalization of hope that existed even through rough times… the reality that we are humans and we do fall sometimes, whether we like it or not…. But still, we hold the key, hidden under all those chaos of thoughts, the key resides within us… reach out, connect and surrender…at least, that is my remedy at these situations that worked so far.
Namaste loved ones, stay safe and sound!