I observe people, especially the couples that I really like. The ones that somehow make it work and are a free entity within that unity. Accept and love each other. Against all odds, find a way to be compatible and complement each other. These people actually do make me feel hopeful for the majority.Everything is changing and along with that, the definition and norms of relationships are also changing. Marriage is becoming a joint growth and evolution rather than an institution. People are slowly starting to live their truth and in return they become more real, calmer, more accepting, more down to earth… And hence, as a result, the terms of the interactions they have with the ones around them is also changing, including the ones with their spouse. Finding a new meaning which is more free and loving.
The couples that fit within this description really inspire me. In spite of their differences and insecurities, they accept and love each other somehow, as weird as they may be. They GO through hard times and hopefully see the light in the things happening to them and change and redefine the terms of their relationship once again.
We all change. We cannot exactly be the same person as we have been in the beginning of our commitment, years ago. Our likes and dislikes, our hobbies change and in return we become a new version of ourselves; which may be for the good or for the bad, but undeniably different and new. And how do we know what is good and what is bad. It’s only a momentary perception.
In order to grow together, I believe, we should be able to look at each other separately, individually and together as an entity from a wider perspective. If we can, then we could be able to remember the core of the intention behind that decision we have made long ago. That core still remains the same within there. The true being that we have seen, believed and somehow really liked at that point in time, interestingly enough, still resides within the other. So much so that, we have decided to spend our lives to gather with them. I am not going to say “for the rest of our lives” because we do not know that, which is perfectly fine and somehow exciting. Everybody’s growth occurs at its own pace. And sometimes, we do literally grow apart. Don’t get me wrong, the initial true love never dies, as it’s your heart that loves the other as it has seen the true being within the other. But eventually, sometimes, lives do grow apart. The others pace may not fit ours anymore. Only then, it’s the most normal and logical and might I remind you, the healthiest action to take; to get separated from the other and redefine your reality as your hearts desires it to be.
And, sometimes… it works, it really works… But still for that specific time being, because it is still unknown to us; what the future holds. That uncertainty is still good though, because it keeps us in the present moment, in the NOW, and that’s all that matters in the end.
I am blessed to have such friends that I find compatible and lovely and engaged in a unique, healthy relationship. I am sure they know who they are and how much I appreciate their company together and separately. And funnily enough, usually those people are the ones who are somehow opposite from each other. If one is more spiritual, the other is more analytic and reasonal. This is the one major attribute that I have observed and found common in all of the inspiring relationships around me. Both are open and loving, and try to understand the other’s perspective, somehow find the meaning in the others existence with an open heart. Be able to see their individual flaws, accept them, love them even and eventually, hopefully, laugh at them together. Only then, it may be possible to grow together and hopefully, if you are lucky enough, be able to keep that company exciting and feeding, you may grow old together, peacefully.
Presence of such couples also makes us feel good about ourselves too. We would totally be at ease within their company and with ourselves. Not only they benefit from this unity and growth but also feed the ones around them, involuntary.
Everything is perception in life. If you change your perception about your relationships with others and with yourself, then you can initiate change this way or the other. The end come is up to you.
Today, I am grateful for my partner in life, the person I have SEEN years ago and loved what I have seen with a clear mind and an open heart. That I still am able to see the beauty within him and his intentions. That, I like the feeling of us, and still am happy and content (most of the time:)) within his company. We did go through bumps in life, but today I can say, we have seen the new people we each have became over the years and respect that being, love it even. And the rest? My guess is as good as yours; life will bring and I will know then. But until then, one thing I know from the bottom of my heart is that I NOW fully be enjoying his company and his love.