Journey

Turkish/Türkçe

I am a believer, and when I believe in something, especially if I am surrounded in an environment that I get to express and be myself freely, I find myself in conversations where I would be whole heartedly promoting that thing (whatever it is at that point in time) to the other.
I love to talk about the things that I am passionate about. And until I sell that idea to the other, somehow convince that it is something to contemplate on; I keep on talking about it; sometimes in subtle forms and sometimes up front, depending on the situation, the place and the person. Sometimes I need to be really patient, loving and consistent as that phrase in time might not be their moment to hear and make it their reality yet. I am proud to say that (years have proved it to me), even if it takes me years to make my point clear, at the end I convince them, make them see my point of view. May be it is not me exactly convincing them, life presents them an opportunity when they are ready and there is nothing else they could do but feel it at that point in time. And I would just be there to point them to the direction, consistently whispering into their ear from time to time.
Consistency and belief accompany me in this journey of mine. And, therefore, there have been friends over the years, who have advised me that if there is one thing I should do on this earth, I should sell an idea that I believe in.
The only downside is, I whole heartedly have to believe in the beauty of that thing at that point in time, otherwise, I couldn’t utter a single word about it. I could only talk this passionately about something that is a part of my life, which is somehow the essence of my life.
And for years, I have contemplated on this piece of advice, how I would interpret this into my life. What was it that I would so deeply believe in and find worth selling and convincing the other of its value? What could I have offered to people from me that they would be willingly taking it from me? What was it that I found precious within me that’s worth sharing with the world? With all these in mind, there was one truth in my heart that, whatever I was going to do in this life, I would be truly in love with it and “love” would lead my way.
And this weekend I have realized that, it’s been some time that I have already set on my journey, started promoting the one thing I deeply believed in… On my path to self exploration, with each step I took into fearlessly manifesting my reality in this world…. I found myself talking about my path, the only truth that I believe in; the path of love, awakening and awareness. And funnily enough, I have been doing this for many years without knowing it or naming it. Apparently, the process took place on its own. As a result of many years of practice as my soul has started to experience its reality, my heart started to expand and it has been inevitable to share my experiences and thoughts with the others. Therefore, the bargain has started.
I now know that what I want to offer to the world is what I believe in with all my heart; which this life bestowed upon us, is worth living for. That non judgmental happiness, with no expectations… happiness in its true sense is a reality and a choice.
This is no any ordinary barter. My satisfaction comes from this feeling I have inside, being able to touch the lives of people, be a simple light in their lives just uplifts me beyond explanation. Mine is an emotional reward, there is no payback like this in anything. It’s the change of spark in people’s eyes.
With one small tiny sincere touch, heart is always ready to open up and realize its truth, even for a tiny second. And that is all I live for, to touch, to inspire with just being, living this human life as awake and as light as I could, given all the circumstances that I live in.
There is this story that I love and truly believe in. Since the day I have read it, it has been my insightful motto.
“Once upon a time, there was an old man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach every morning before he began his work. Early one morning, he was walking along the shore after a big storm had passed and found the vast beach littered with starfish as far as the eye could see, stretching in both directions.
Off in the distance, the old man noticed a small boy approaching. As the boy walked, he paused every so often and as he grew closer, the man could see that he was occasionally bending down to pick up an object and throw it into the sea. The boy came closer still and the man called out, “Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?”
The young boy paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean. The tide has washed them up onto the beach and they can’t return to the sea by themselves,” the youth replied. “When the sun gets high, they will die, unless I throw them back into the water.”
The old man replied, “But there must be tens of thousands of starfish on this beach. I’m afraid you won’t really be able to make much of a difference.”
The boy bent down, picked up yet another starfish and threw it as far as he could into the ocean. Then he turned, smiled and said, “It made a difference to that one!””
And just like that little boy, I do believe there is no small deed. Every action of goodness we do will pay itself forward in some way or another.
And, I know I am here to sell the idea of happiness, to prove its tangible validity if you choose to see. This will be my path as long as this feeling keeps on feeding my soul. If I could be a vessel to a change in one single soul’s life that day, my life serves its purpose fully. And one more time gratefulness captures me; gratefulness for the body I came into, for my family, for the being that I am today. That I am living on this earth today… That I have chosen to live a life that perceived beauty in everything.
One more time I am grateful today that I get to experience myself freely and truly as I was intended to be.


Yolculuk

Kendimi özgürce yaşadığım ortamlarda nedense bir noktada inandığım bir şeyi bir arkadaşıma anlatırken bulurum. Tutku ile bağlandığım olguyu, olayı, yeri anlatmaktan sonsuz keyif almakla beraber, biliyorum ki fikri satana kadar da çalışmalarıma kimi zaman çok bariz, kimi zaman sakince devam etmekten de kendimi alı koyamıyorum. Ve bunu da gururla söyleyebilirim ki, çoğu zaman o gün olmasa bile, bazen yıllarımı alsa bile fikri satabildiğimi görüyorum.
Burada, istikrar ve inanç bana yol arkadaşlığı yapıyor. Bu sebeple, beni tanıyanlar, eğer bir iş yapacaksam çok inandığım bir şeyi satmamı önerirlerdi. Kalbimle inanırım anlattığım şeyin gerçek güzelliğine, inanmazsam zaten hakkında konuşmak bile istemem. Ama inandığım olguda zaten hayatımın bir parçasıdır, kendisidir bir nevi.
Bende bu tavsiyeyi nasıl iş hayatına çevirebileceğimi düşündüm durdum senelerdir. Ne vardı böylesine severek savunabileceğim ve satmaya değer bulabileceğim. İnsanlara kendimden ne sunabilirdim ki ilk olarak ben inanarak anlatabileyim ve onlarda sorgusuz alsınlar benden. Benim böylesine her daim derinden inandığım ve paylaşılmaya değer bulduğum neyim vardı. Ancak, inandığım tek bir gerçek vardı hep, her ne yapacaksam, yaptığım işe sevdalı olacaktım.
Ve bu hafta sonu farkına vardım ki, ben zaten aktarmaya başlamışım inandığım şeyi. Kendim olma yolunda, kendimi korkusuzca yaşama yolunda attığım adımlar sonunda ben mutluluğu, uyanmayı, farkındalığı anlatmaya karar vermiş ve başlamışım bile çoktan. Farkında olmadan gelişmiş bu süreç, ruhum açıldıkça, kalbim büyüdükçe yaşanmışlıkları paylaşmak zaruri olmuş benim için ve alış veriş başlamış böylece. Gönülden inandığım ve yaşamaya değer verdiğim şeyin, insanlara sunmak istediğim şeyin mutluluk, gerçek ve sorgusuz mutluluk olduğunu biliyorum artık.
Farklı bir alışveriş şekli bu. İnsanlara bir an için ufacık bile dokunuyor olabilmek, hayatlarında ihtiyaç duydukları o anda bir nebze de olsa ruhlarındaki ışık olabilirsem benim için yeterli bile. Benimki duygusal bir alışveriş, hiçbir başka işin bu oranda tatmin sağlayabileceğini sanmıyorum benim için. Bir insanın gözündeki ışıltının değişimine tanık olmak beni mutlu eden. Kalp, ufak içten bir dokunuşla uyanışa geçmeye ve kendi gerçeğini hayata geçirmeye her zaman hazır. Ve ben sadece bu ışıltıyı görebilmek için, uzanıp dokunabileceği el olabilmek için dünyada olduğumu biliyorum. Bu hayatı bana sunulan şartlar dâhilinde, elimden geldiğince uyanık ve hafif yaşamak ruhuma olan görevim.
Ben sevgiyi satmaya, dağıtmaya, varlığının fiziksel olabildiğine kanıtlamaya geldim, en azından bugün için gerçeğim bu. Ve bu his beni besledikçe, yolumun bu olduğunu da bileceğim. Ve bir kez daha minnettarlık kaplıyor her yanımı, geldiğim beden, ailem, çevrem ve olduğum varlık için… Bugün dünyada yaşıyor olduğum için… Her şeye rağmen güzeli görmeye adanmış bir hayatı yaşamayı seçmiş olduğum için.
Bir kez daha minnettarım bugün, kendim olabildiğim için.

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