Confession

I have a confession to make…
Being on the path that I am, I know that the ultimate goal is to conclude ones cycle, resolve all those karmic challenges, get undressed from all those excess baggage we have been carrying life after life and with that lightness and clarity realize what we already are… that we are love… and then hopefully, move on and not come back again… Finally be a part of what we actually are; realize that we are the divine!
Ok, that path I truly adore ­čÖé
In a weird way, I love facing myself and eventually dealing with the daily challenges life presents. I truly enjoy this journey to become a better version of myself. Interestingly, the more I dive in myself, the more I feel that I already know!
It is like a journey back home, a path that has been travelled for many lifetimes… Actually, it is not finding your way back but rather, remembering your path back home. Every moment of this journey is awakening, energizing and loving… Knowing that all these challenges that lay in front of me was my choice, a path that I have chosen to live or better yet, the path that I live because of the choices I have made for many lifetimes; life becomes exciting. And now, as I accept this reality, this truth… I welcome the journey that leads me back to the ultimate truth, to the universal consciousness.
Today, I love my path… So much so that sometimes the possibility of this lifeline being my last one saddens me! I honestly, truly love being a human being… breathing and living on this planet!
This week was dedicated to the realization of this reality within me! Wednesday nights of mine is strictly reserved for yoga! For those who are the members of the yoga community in Istanbul, Wednesday classes with Chris Chavez are like a pilgrimage. If you are a teacher, he provides you with such insights in one single class that you get inspired for your future personal classes. And if you are a student… Oh well, even better! Layer by layer you get to explore your reality. And might I remind you that we are all students in this school of life, so the best news is; the journey never ends!!!
And, this Wednesday… oh my… It was one of those exceptional classes. So strong and so deep, keeping you glued in the present moment so that every word he uttered just sank into your soul and found the exact place that it should be nurturing. After one of those challenging posses while we were resting in Adho Mukha Svanasana (downward facing dog) he came and scribbled something in my notebook. Yes… that mischievously warm and sweet he is and yes… I do have a notebook with me so that if and when I get inspired (which happens quite often in his classes) I would be able to take a note. Anyhow, I waited till after the class to check what he wrote down in my notebook.
“When you know the truth, there is nothing to fear!”
Once you get close to the truth, your truth, which is also the universal truth… there is nothing to fear. All you have left with is the acceptance of who you are and from then on, there is nothing left but just merely enjoy life as is!!! And in the light of this reality, living a life surrounded by such beauty, I could say that, the possibility of not reincarnating as a human being once again does sometimes saddens me… ItÔÇÖs rather like a melancholy feeling you get when you depart from a dear loved one so close to your heart.
And… That is my confession! That I adore life!!! There are days that I do get lost sometimes but ever so grateful that I find that strength within me to be an observer in those moments in time, get detached from those feelings that are pulling me down, get rid of that clutter that is clogging my mind and see my way back home! And then, again… One more time… let the gratefulness wash over me!
So, let this weekend be one of those refreshing, fantastic, warm and cozy weekends filled with love and joy!!! Enjoy today, this single breath you breathe in with gratitude! And live… Truly live!!!! Have a wonderful weekend!


Journey

Turkish/T├╝rk├že

I am a believer, and when I believe in something, especially if I am surrounded in an environment that I get to express and be myself freely, I find myself in conversations where I would be whole heartedly promoting that thing (whatever it is at that point in time) to the other.
I love to talk about the things that I am passionate about. And until I sell that idea to the other, somehow convince that it is something to contemplate on; I keep on talking about it; sometimes in subtle forms and sometimes up front, depending on the situation, the place and the person. Sometimes I need to be really patient, loving and consistent as that phrase in time might not be their moment to hear and make it their reality yet. I am proud to say that (years have proved it to me), even if it takes me years to make my point clear, at the end I convince them, make them see my point of view. May be it is not me exactly convincing them, life presents them an opportunity when they are ready and there is nothing else they could do but feel it at that point in time. And I would just be there to point them to the direction, consistently whispering into their ear from time to time.
Consistency and belief accompany me in this journey of mine. And, therefore, there have been friends over the years, who have advised me that if there is one thing I should do on this earth, I should sell an idea that I believe in.
The only downside is, I whole heartedly have to believe in the beauty of that thing at that point in time, otherwise, I couldnÔÇÖt utter a single word about it. I could only talk this passionately about something that is a part of my life, which is somehow the essence of my life.
And for years, I have contemplated on this piece of advice, how I would interpret this into my life. What was it that I would so deeply believe in and find worth selling and convincing the other of its value? What could I have offered to people from me that they would be willingly taking it from me? What was it that I found precious within me that’s worth sharing with the world? With all these in mind, there was one truth in my heart that, whatever I was going to do in this life, I would be truly in love with it and “love” would lead my way.
And this weekend I have realized that, itÔÇÖs been some time that I have already set on my journey, started promoting the one thing I deeply believed in… On my path to self exploration, with each step I took into fearlessly manifesting my reality in this world…. I found myself talking about my path, the only truth that I believe in; the path of love, awakening and awareness. And funnily enough, I have been doing this for many years without knowing it or naming it. Apparently, the process took place on its own. As a result of many years of practice as my soul has started to experience its reality, my heart started to expand and it has been inevitable to share my experiences and thoughts with the others. Therefore, the bargain has started.
I now know that what I want to offer to the world is what I believe in with all my heart; which this life bestowed upon us, is worth living for. That non judgmental happiness, with no expectations… happiness in its true sense is a reality and a choice.
This is no any ordinary barter. My satisfaction comes from this feeling I have inside, being able to touch the lives of people, be a simple light in their lives just uplifts me beyond explanation. Mine is an emotional reward, there is no payback like this in anything. ItÔÇÖs the change of spark in peopleÔÇÖs eyes.
With one small tiny sincere touch, heart is always ready to open up and realize its truth, even for a tiny second. And that is all I live for, to touch, to inspire with just being, living this human life as awake and as light as I could, given all the circumstances that I live in.
There is this story that I love and truly believe in. Since the day I have read it, it has been my insightful motto.
“Once upon a time, there was an old man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach every morning before he began his work. Early one morning, he was walking along the shore after a big storm had passed and found the vast beach littered with starfish as far as the eye could see, stretching in both directions.
Off in the distance, the old man noticed a small boy approaching. As the boy walked, he paused every so often and as he grew closer, the man could see that he was occasionally bending down to pick up an object and throw it into the sea. The boy came closer still and the man called out, ÔÇťGood morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?ÔÇŁ
The young boy paused, looked up, and replied ÔÇťThrowing starfish into the ocean. The tide has washed them up onto the beach and they canÔÇÖt return to the sea by themselves,ÔÇŁ the youth replied. ÔÇťWhen the sun gets high, they will die, unless I throw them back into the water.ÔÇŁ
The old man replied, ÔÇťBut there must be tens of thousands of starfish on this beach. IÔÇÖm afraid you wonÔÇÖt really be able to make much of a difference.ÔÇŁ
The boy bent down, picked up yet another starfish and threw it as far as he could into the ocean. Then he turned, smiled and said, ÔÇťIt made a difference to that one!ÔÇŁ”
And just like that little boy, I do believe there is no small deed. Every action of goodness we do will pay itself forward in some way or another.
And, I know I am here to sell the idea of happiness, to prove its tangible validity if you choose to see. This will be my path as long as this feeling keeps on feeding my soul. If I could be a vessel to a change in one single soulÔÇÖs life that day, my life serves its purpose fully. And one more time gratefulness captures me; gratefulness for the body I came into, for my family, for the being that I am today. That I am living on this earth today… That I have chosen to live a life that perceived beauty in everything.
One more time I am grateful today that I get to experience myself freely and truly as I was intended to be.


Yolculuk

Kendimi ├Âzg├╝rce ya┼čad─▒─č─▒m ortamlarda nedense bir noktada inand─▒─č─▒m bir ┼čeyi bir arkada┼č─▒ma anlat─▒rken bulurum. Tutku ile ba─čland─▒─č─▒m olguyu, olay─▒, yeri anlatmaktan sonsuz keyif almakla beraber, biliyorum ki fikri satana kadar da ├žal─▒┼čmalar─▒ma kimi zaman ├žok bariz, kimi zaman sakince devam etmekten de kendimi al─▒ koyam─▒yorum. Ve bunu da gururla s├Âyleyebilirim ki, ├žo─ču zaman o g├╝n olmasa bile, bazen y─▒llar─▒m─▒ alsa bile fikri satabildi─čimi g├Âr├╝yorum.
Burada, istikrar ve inan├ž bana yol arkada┼čl─▒─č─▒ yap─▒yor. Bu sebeple, beni tan─▒yanlar, e─čer bir i┼č yapacaksam ├žok inand─▒─č─▒m bir ┼čeyi satmam─▒ ├Ânerirlerdi. Kalbimle inan─▒r─▒m anlatt─▒─č─▒m ┼čeyin ger├žek g├╝zelli─čine, inanmazsam zaten hakk─▒nda konu┼čmak bile istemem. Ama inand─▒─č─▒m olguda zaten hayat─▒m─▒n bir par├žas─▒d─▒r, kendisidir bir nevi.
Bende bu tavsiyeyi nas─▒l i┼č hayat─▒na ├ževirebilece─čimi d├╝┼č├╝nd├╝m durdum senelerdir. Ne vard─▒ b├Âylesine severek savunabilece─čim ve satmaya de─čer bulabilece─čim. ─░nsanlara kendimden ne sunabilirdim ki ilk olarak ben inanarak anlatabileyim ve onlarda sorgusuz als─▒nlar benden. Benim b├Âylesine her daim derinden inand─▒─č─▒m ve payla┼č─▒lmaya de─čer buldu─čum neyim vard─▒. Ancak, inand─▒─č─▒m tek bir ger├žek vard─▒ hep, her ne yapacaksam, yapt─▒─č─▒m i┼če sevdal─▒ olacakt─▒m.
Ve bu hafta sonu fark─▒na vard─▒m ki, ben zaten aktarmaya ba┼člam─▒┼č─▒m inand─▒─č─▒m ┼čeyi. Kendim olma yolunda, kendimi korkusuzca ya┼čama yolunda att─▒─č─▒m ad─▒mlar sonunda ben mutlulu─ču, uyanmay─▒, fark─▒ndal─▒─č─▒ anlatmaya karar vermi┼č ve ba┼člam─▒┼č─▒m bile ├žoktan. Fark─▒nda olmadan geli┼čmi┼č bu s├╝re├ž, ruhum a├ž─▒ld─▒k├ža, kalbim b├╝y├╝d├╝k├že ya┼čanm─▒┼čl─▒klar─▒ payla┼čmak zaruri olmu┼č benim i├žin ve al─▒┼č veri┼č ba┼člam─▒┼č b├Âylece. G├Ân├╝lden inand─▒─č─▒m ve ya┼čamaya de─čer verdi─čim ┼čeyin, insanlara sunmak istedi─čim ┼čeyin mutluluk, ger├žek ve sorgusuz mutluluk oldu─čunu biliyorum art─▒k.
Farkl─▒ bir al─▒┼čveri┼č ┼čekli bu. ─░nsanlara bir an i├žin ufac─▒k bile dokunuyor olabilmek, hayatlar─▒nda ihtiya├ž duyduklar─▒ o anda bir nebze de olsa ruhlar─▒ndaki ─▒┼č─▒k olabilirsem benim i├žin yeterli bile. Benimki duygusal bir al─▒┼čveri┼č, hi├žbir ba┼čka i┼čin bu oranda tatmin sa─člayabilece─čini sanm─▒yorum benim i├žin. Bir insan─▒n g├Âz├╝ndeki ─▒┼č─▒lt─▒n─▒n de─či┼čimine tan─▒k olmak beni mutlu eden. Kalp, ufak i├žten bir dokunu┼čla uyan─▒┼ča ge├žmeye ve kendi ger├že─čini hayata ge├žirmeye her zaman haz─▒r. Ve ben sadece bu ─▒┼č─▒lt─▒y─▒ g├Ârebilmek i├žin, uzan─▒p dokunabilece─či el olabilmek i├žin d├╝nyada oldu─čumu biliyorum. Bu hayat─▒ bana sunulan ┼čartlar d├óhilinde, elimden geldi─čince uyan─▒k ve hafif ya┼čamak ruhuma olan g├Ârevim.
Ben sevgiyi satmaya, da─č─▒tmaya, varl─▒─č─▒n─▒n fiziksel olabildi─čine kan─▒tlamaya geldim, en az─▒ndan bug├╝n i├žin ger├že─čim bu. Ve bu his beni besledik├že, yolumun bu oldu─čunu da bilece─čim. Ve bir kez daha minnettarl─▒k kapl─▒yor her yan─▒m─▒, geldi─čim beden, ailem, ├ževrem ve oldu─čum varl─▒k i├žin… Bug├╝n d├╝nyada ya┼č─▒yor oldu─čum i├žin… Her ┼čeye ra─čmen g├╝zeli g├Ârmeye adanm─▒┼č bir hayat─▒ ya┼čamay─▒ se├žmi┼č oldu─čum i├žin.
Bir kez daha minnettar─▒m bug├╝n, kendim olabildi─čim i├žin.

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40 years on this earth

Today I am 40! ItÔÇÖs been 40 years that I have been on this journey, in this lifetime, within this body, with the family that I believe I have chosen, surrounded with amazing souls. Although life does have its ups and downs from time to time, I feel pride in saying that I wouldnÔÇÖt have wished to be in any other place, be in any other condition than being ÔÇťmeÔÇŁ today! I am 40 and everyday when I wake up, no matter what I have been through the day before, I choose to wake up with a smile on my face, feeling grateful for what has been offered to me in this lifetime.

Yes, ok, I am a woman and a human beingÔÇŽ sometimes I do wish to be a little taller or a little thinner, but ever so grateful that I have a healthy body and am able to commit to new goals in my life, like running a half marathon or completing my yoga teacher training certificate.

I know my limitations and I respect them. I cherish them and let them guide me in my journey. I am as young as I will ever be, at an age that things could not be delayed but perceived, lived fully. Instead of my downsides, I am focusing on my assets, those gifts that were bestowed upon me.

I have more courage to face the biggest demons in my life, my fears that have been holding me down over the years. I choose to see every challenge as an opportunity to become a better version of me. I choose not to be a victim of life or a football of other peopleÔÇÖs opinions. Instead of changing the situations that are challenging me, I now focus on myself and change my perception of them. Now I know that I only have control over me.

And the dreamsÔÇŽ those dreams that were so far away when I was young, have slowly started to become my reality. This little writer within me is eagerly pushing my ego and my need for appreciation, and slowly but surely rewriting my path. Today, I have the courage to change my path if it doesnÔÇÖt serve my purpose, my soul. This lifeline is my gift and I am aware that today is the only place that happiness can beÔÇŽ that, ÔÇťIÔÇŁ can be.

I choose to tell the loved ones what they mean to me every day. Words are my gifts and I try to choose them wisely and delicatelyÔÇŽ as much as the opportunity presents, I choose to praise life, and the ones around me.

I am a happy soul and grateful everyday for what life has offered me. Most of all, that it has provided me with the sight that perceived the beauty in everything thatÔÇÖs surrounding me. Today, I am a lucky being who has lived on this planet for 40 years and I am more excited for the next ÔÇťminimumÔÇŁ 40 to come. I knowÔÇŽ from the bottom of my heart, I know that itÔÇÖs going to be exceptional. And today, I thank you all who has touched me, inspired me, thought me, challenged me but in some form guided me in my journeyÔÇŽ I honor you all!

Namaste.

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