Deciding a decision

Deciding a decision… that’s the hardest thing in life. Especially, if that decision is going to change your path, your reality at that point in time.

I have been consumed by that phase in my life; there was a point in time that every day I woke up with the feeling that I should be making a decision that specific day. The reality that, days of my life was passing by and that I was delaying my life was honestly eating me alive. Of course, getting out of that mind set took some time and a big fight with the self. It was a challenging road; facing my fears and diving deep into them. But what I realized afterwards now sheds a light in my life; there is no decision to make. The only decision you have to make is be yourself and find happiness regardless of the things that is happening in your life. “Regardless” being the key word here; your happiness should not be related to anything or anyone or any condition. I know it sounds ridiculous trying to be happy in that situation but what I am saying is; be happy in spite of the things that are happening in your life, and keep in mind that you were given this life because you were strong enough to live it!

These paths appear in our lives to wake us up, to change our perception … It may seem surreal at time but one day, you will be grateful for those circumstances that pushed your limits. I realized that I was sleeping and living a dream that I chose to believe, my reality at that point was what I chose to see. If there is an urge in your soul to make a decision, then it is time for you to wake up and alter your reality. Now is the day you need to focus on yourself, clean yourself from all the clutter in you and stand up in life, realize and remember who you really are without all the attachments. Listen to your inner voice, look into the eyes of your loved ones and see the reflection of yourself. Sometimes we are more judgmental to ourselves then others can ever be. See yourself once again from those loving eyes and fall in love with yourself, let the feeling of gratefulness become your reality. Don’t forget that you are stronger than your mind, try to find a way to calm it down so that you could have a clearer vision of yourself… and then… cherish whatever life may offer, because it has so many gifts planned for you, eagerly waiting to become your reality.

Know that you do not need to make any decision right now. That decision will come to you, you will not find it no matter how hard you try… one day, you will just “know”, from the bottom of your core you will know which way to act and there will be no other direction you could take but listen to it… When you are ready, YOUR answer to your search will come to you. Until then, all you could do is, work on yourself, remember and love and cherish who you are … and then, when its time and you are ready, your soul will provide an answer to you. Just breathe and open your eyes and be present today, approach life one step at a time. And hopefully, one day when you look back you will see that you are living the life you were destined to live. Everything has a reason and whatever challenge came into your life, came to change your direction that was not doing any good to you anymore.

There is a saying by Celaleddin Rumi “Don’t worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know the side you are used to is better than the one to come?”

We may not want to let go of our routine, our old habits or just the familiar serenity of the life we are accustomed to, but how do we know that what the future holds for us is less than the one we are so eagerly trying to hold on to. Life is full of surprises; let your soul dive into the unknown with wonder and acceptance!

Soğuk Su, Göçek, Turkey

Soğuk Su, Göçek, Turkey

40 years on this earth

Today I am 40! It’s been 40 years that I have been on this journey, in this lifetime, within this body, with the family that I believe I have chosen, surrounded with amazing souls. Although life does have its ups and downs from time to time, I feel pride in saying that I wouldn’t have wished to be in any other place, be in any other condition than being “me” today! I am 40 and everyday when I wake up, no matter what I have been through the day before, I choose to wake up with a smile on my face, feeling grateful for what has been offered to me in this lifetime.

Yes, ok, I am a woman and a human being… sometimes I do wish to be a little taller or a little thinner, but ever so grateful that I have a healthy body and am able to commit to new goals in my life, like running a half marathon or completing my yoga teacher training certificate.

I know my limitations and I respect them. I cherish them and let them guide me in my journey. I am as young as I will ever be, at an age that things could not be delayed but perceived, lived fully. Instead of my downsides, I am focusing on my assets, those gifts that were bestowed upon me.

I have more courage to face the biggest demons in my life, my fears that have been holding me down over the years. I choose to see every challenge as an opportunity to become a better version of me. I choose not to be a victim of life or a football of other people’s opinions. Instead of changing the situations that are challenging me, I now focus on myself and change my perception of them. Now I know that I only have control over me.

And the dreams… those dreams that were so far away when I was young, have slowly started to become my reality. This little writer within me is eagerly pushing my ego and my need for appreciation, and slowly but surely rewriting my path. Today, I have the courage to change my path if it doesn’t serve my purpose, my soul. This lifeline is my gift and I am aware that today is the only place that happiness can be… that, “I” can be.

I choose to tell the loved ones what they mean to me every day. Words are my gifts and I try to choose them wisely and delicately… as much as the opportunity presents, I choose to praise life, and the ones around me.

I am a happy soul and grateful everyday for what life has offered me. Most of all, that it has provided me with the sight that perceived the beauty in everything that’s surrounding me. Today, I am a lucky being who has lived on this planet for 40 years and I am more excited for the next “minimum” 40 to come. I know… from the bottom of my heart, I know that it’s going to be exceptional. And today, I thank you all who has touched me, inspired me, thought me, challenged me but in some form guided me in my journey… I honor you all!