2015

A new year! Now, that is one thing worth celebrating ­čÖé Ok, I accept… I generally love celebrations but not everything is worth celebrating for me…
Birthdays, for sure! I think the day a soul has made that decision to come to the world and experience life within a human body, with all these human emotions, voluntarily decided to go all through that karmic challenges is a big deal for me. And hell yeah, that courage is worth celebrating!
And, New Year… Call me sentimental, childish, and romantic, whatever you like… But New Year brings hope to us all no matter how pessimistic we may be. It carries this hope for a better tomorrow, this promise of what we may be if we choose to be!
So here it goes; my wishes for this year to come are….
May we be happy in our skin, love our existence with no self bullying, accept and love what we are as is.
May we have soulful connections with the ones around us, accept them as they are with no “what ifÔÇÖsÔÇŁ and appreciate their existence in our lives.
May we step out of our comfort zones and challenge ourselves, grow and expand within our lives.
May we learn something new; add a different dimension to our existence as much as we can.
May we see the good in everything, everyone and let this vision light our path when we are surrounded with darkness. May we remember that we hold the key; we hold that light within ourselves that will illuminate our path.
May we expand the love, the goodness within ourselves to the communities we live in.
May we inspire ourselves, be what we were initially intended to be and with this, may we be an inspiration to the ones around us!
May we never forget that, it was our decision to be on this planet, within this body, to be alive today… And may we cherish life with this reality, living our truth!
May we be surrounded by people who really sees us and honestly cherishes our existence in their lives, laughs with us, guides us through life with lightness, challenges us to grow, with their mere existence picks us up when we fall, uplifts our soul with their insights, hears us even when we are not talking, chooses their words wisely with good intention, appreciates peaceful silences, and most of all looks into our eyes with all their nakedness, without fear, with all their honesty, with all their hearts. May we be surrounded by loving eyes and loving hearts!
And me… I am a happy soul and so grateful for what was bestowed upon me. Life has been very generous and I see myself surrounded with beauty… I am not the woman that I used to be anymore… These past couple years have pushed me to my limits and when it blossomed all I was left with was simply “me”… So, I decided to live my reality… Make my dreams become my reality and since then, every day I breathe life in with appreciation. Today I am much more than I have ever been and with a wondrous heart, I welcome 2015!
Happy new year to all!!!!

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Los Angeles/San Franscisco

Turkish/T├╝rk├že

If I am going to live abroad someday, from the bottom of my heart I know that California will be my home. I am in awe with the rhythm, nature and the colors of this state. I feel at ease with the serene and laid back lifestyle it offers, as if life has been paused and days are passing by in slow motion. The years I have spent there surely had an impact on this idea. California is the place where I have started to confront myself in search for my own reality, my true self. It is the place where I have started to fall in love with myself, embarked on a journey to accept myself completely. My LA years lit a candle that has been burning within me, guiding my way on this very bumpy, challenging yet amazing road called life.
And if I did decide to go back and live there again, which city would it be? Now that I have grown up and became a different version of myself, which city would I be now?
In my heart, if Los Angeles represents the spring, then San Francisco carries the qualities of fall.
Spring delivers the promises of LA. A dreamy land made up of pastel colors, life filled with enthusiasm, happiness, lightness, renewal, change, flow and serenity. It promises a leisurely pleasant life style, reminding me of the youthfulness and staying young at heart, somehow manifesting as a passionate lover in our lives. My love for spring is like the hunger I feel for LA; uninterrupted and wholeheartedly. It is almost as if I am embracing my true self, feeling the joy of life in my veins.
San Francisco is the slightly melancholic and vicious sister of spring. It hosts transition, with a calm revolt in its nature. It aims to silently prepare us for the coming season. While my heart starts to calm down adapting to the routine of this season, with no specific reason, suddenly sadness captures me. It is not a renouncement, but rather a tranquil transition, just like the changing colors of the nature surrounding me. San Francisco is somehow like a calm, compassionate lover. There is this longing for what ifÔÇÖs and unlived stories in its nature.
My nature is just like Los Angeles, feeling alive is what feeds my soul, maintaining a constant happy state is my ambition. I aim to live the life with love, filled with love, shared in the name of love. But, no matter who I am at the core, one part of me is aching for San Francisco, with nostalgia reconnecting to its routes, grounding somehow.
Opposite values surfaces as my current topic one more time here, somehow supporting each other in spite of all its contradictions, and becomes an inseparable part of my life. When I look around me, I see that in most of the relationships people do wind up with someone who is just the opposite of them. It has been a while that I have been contemplating on this thought; Why do the opposites attract each other? What kind of a relationship would it have been if we were in a relationship that two beings were somehow similar? I am not talking about the perception of life; we do need to gaze at life from the same perspective to move on in life together. But rather itÔÇÖs our personalities that are somehow contradicting. And finally, I decided that this is human nature, our purpose in this life somehow. In our romantic relationships we tend to choose those who challenge us, push our buttons, and urge us to take those steps into our fears. We tend to choose those who contradict but still complement us somehow. Just like one may love to run, find comfort in the adrenaline that the body pumps during this highly physical workout, the other might be drawn into yoga, feeling bliss in the awareness of their actions. While one may be rational, more grounded in the world we live in, the other might choose to be guided by his/her intuitions and be in an ethereal state. We find balance in life this way, somehow, expand our horizon, and test our limits.
We do preserve these opposite values within our souls also. The contradictions within our soul encourage our growth, providing the courage needed to surpass our fears. Just as I am in love with those opposite yet complementary seasons, I love life as is, completely. There is balance in the creation and we encompass a little bit of everything in life within our nature. It is the harmony of the diversity that makes life exceptional somehow.
And once we know, deeply acknowledge that we are living a life we have chosen to live, life blossoms and from time to time starts presenting our dreams as our own reality. We step into manifesting our own reality and the journey we are on starts finding a new meaning this way! A life worth living for, in spite of and because of those contradictory and yet complementing values in our lives.

Los Angeles/San Francisco

Ya┼čayacaksam e─čer bir g├╝n yurtd─▒┼č─▒nda, evimin California olaca─č─▒ konusunda hi├ž ┼č├╝phem yok. CaliforniaÔÇÖn─▒n genel ritmine, do─čas─▒na, renklerine, sanki hayat durmu┼č├žas─▒na sakin ve kayg─▒s─▒z ya┼čam─▒na hayran─▒m oldum olas─▒. O b├Âlgede ge├žirmi┼č oldu─čum senelerin de etkisi var tabi bunda. Kendimle, ├ÂzÔÇÖ├╝mle y├╝zle┼čmeye ba┼člad─▒─č─▒m yer California ne de olsa. Kendime ├ó┼č─▒k olmaya, benli─čimi oldu─ču gibi kabul etmeye ba┼člad─▒─č─▒m yolculu─čun ├ž─▒k─▒┼č noktas─▒ Los Angeles. Orada ge├žen y─▒llar─▒m ├Ân├╝me ├ž─▒kan zorluklarla ba┼ča ├ž─▒kabilmem ├╝zere ─▒┼č─▒k tutmakta yoluma halen daha.
Ve e─čer, tekrar CaliforniaÔÇÖda ya┼čamaya karar verirsem hangi ┼čehirde ya┼čard─▒m acaba? Aradan y─▒llar ge├žmi┼č ve kendimin ba┼čka bir versiyonunu hayata ge├žirmi┼čken, ┼čimdiki ben hangi ┼čehri se├žerdi acaba?
Los Angeles ilkbahar ise, San Francisco’da sonbahard─▒r benim i├žin. Ben baharlar─▒ ├žok severim, en ├žok da ilkbahar─▒… Los AngelesÔÇÖin vaatlerini m├╝jdeler bana. Pastel tonlar─▒, heyecan─▒, mutlulu─ču, hafifli─či, yenilikleri, de─či┼čimi, ak─▒┼č─▒, heyecanla kar─▒┼č─▒k huzuru, tela┼čs─▒z ama ne┼če dolu bir hayat─▒… Gen├žli─či ve hep gen├ž kalmay─▒, tutku dolu a┼čk─▒ an─▒msat─▒r bana. Ben ilkbahar─▒ Los AngelesÔÇÖi sevdi─čim gibi severim, kesiksiz, kalpten, ├Âz├╝me s─▒ms─▒k─▒ sar─▒l─▒rcas─▒na, gen├žli─či ve hayat─▒ damarlar─▒mda her daim hissedercesine.
San Francisco ise sonbahard─▒r g├Ânl├╝mde. Mevsimlerin hafif h├╝z├╝nl├╝ ama bir o kadar h─▒r├ž─▒n y├╝z├╝. Ge├ži┼či bar─▒nd─▒r─▒r i├žinde, sakin bir ba┼čkald─▒r─▒ vard─▒r. Amac─▒, kara k─▒┼ča sakince haz─▒rlamakt─▒r bizi. Ruhumun k─▒p─▒rt─▒lar─▒n─▒ dinginli─če ve rutine ├žekerken, sebepsiz bir h├╝z├╝n kaplar i├žimi. Renkler solmaya ba┼člar ama bir vazge├žme de─čildir bu, sessizce bir ge├ži┼čtir. Do─čan─▒n renk ve kabuk de─či┼čtirmesidir bir nevi. San Francisco melankoliktir, ┼čefkat dolu bir ├ó┼č─▒kt─▒r. Ya┼čanmam─▒┼čl─▒klara, ya┼čanamam─▒┼čl─▒klara bir ├Âzlem vard─▒r ruhunda.
Ben Los AngelesÔÇÖim ├Âz├╝mde, k─▒p─▒r k─▒p─▒r ve hayat dolu olmakt─▒r beni besleyen, mutlulu─ču daim k─▒lmakt─▒r amac─▒m… Hayat─▒ dopdolu ve sevgiyle ya┼čamak tek umudum. Ama ink├ór etsem de bir taraf─▒m San Francisco sevdal─▒s─▒, hasret ile ba─člar─▒n─▒ hat─▒rl─▒yor, topraklan─▒yor bir nevi.
Kar┼č─▒t de─čerler burada da kar┼č─▒ma ├ž─▒k─▒yor ve t├╝m ├želi┼čkilerine kar┼č─▒n, birbirlerini beslerken vazge├žilmez oluyorlar benim i├žin. Etraf─▒mdaki ili┼čkilere bak─▒yorum da, hep bir ┼čekilde olduk├ža farkl─▒ karakterler birbirlerini buluyorlar. Uzun zamand─▒r bu konuya kafa yormaktay─▒m asl─▒nda. Neden kar┼č─▒t de─čerler birbirlerini ├žekiyor? Kendimizinkine benzer karakterde biri ile beraber olsayd─▒k nas─▒l bir ili┼čki ya┼č─▒yor olurduk acaba? Hayata bakt─▒─č─▒m─▒z a├ž─▒dan bahsetmiyorum burada, hayatta beraber yol alabilmek i├žin ayn─▒ pencereden bakmam─▒z gerekti─či a┼čik├ór. Bahsetti─čim daha ├žok karakterlerin ├želi┼čkide olmas─▒ burada. Etraf─▒mdaki neredeyse her ili┼čkide ├Âylesine z─▒t karakterler bir araya gelmi┼č ki, sonunda bunun insan do─čas─▒ndan kaynakland─▒─č─▒ ve hayata geli┼č amac─▒m─▒z oldu─ču konusunda kanaat getirdim. Bir ┼čekilde ki┼čisel geli┼čimimizde bizi zorlayacak, normalde atmaya korktu─čumuz ad─▒mlar─▒ att─▒racak, kendi ki┼čili─čimizden farkl─▒ ki┼čileri hayat e┼či olarak ├žekme e─čilimi g├Âsteriyoruz. Nas─▒l biri ko┼čmay─▒ seviyorsa, v├╝cudunun ko┼ču esnas─▒nda salg─▒lad─▒─č─▒ adrenalinde huzur buluyorsa, bir di─čerinin ruhunu yoga ├ža─č─▒r─▒yor, mutlulu─ču hareketlerinin fark─▒ndal─▒─č─▒nda bulabiliyor olabiliyor. Biri daha rasyonel yap─▒ya sahip ve d├╝nyevi konulara daha merakl─▒ olurken, ├Âb├╝r├╝ hayat─▒ sezgileri ile ya┼čamay─▒ ve daha ruhani bir yolda yol almay─▒ se├žmi┼č olabiliyor. Hayatta dengeyi buluyoruz bir ┼čekilde belki de b├Âylece. Ufkumuz geni┼čliyor, kendi s─▒n─▒rlar─▒m─▒z─▒ test ediyoruz bir nevi.
Hepimiz b├Âylesine kar┼č─▒t de─čerleri ruhumuzda ve ├Âz├╝m├╝zde de bar─▒nd─▒r─▒yoruz asl─▒nda. Kendi i├žimizdeki ├želi┼čkiler geli┼čimimizi destekliyor, korkular─▒m─▒z─▒ a┼čmam─▒z─▒ sa─čl─▒yor bir nevi. Ayn─▒ birbirine z─▒t ama bir o kadar birbirini tamamlayan mevsime olan sevgim gibi, hayat─▒ da oldu─ču gibi kabul ediyor ve seviyorum. Evren bir ┼čekilde denge ├╝zerine kurulmu┼č bu hayatta ve bizlerde hayat─▒n de─či┼čik katmanlar─▒ndan birer par├ža bar─▒nd─▒r─▒yoruz i├žimizde. Bir nevi, farkl─▒l─▒klar─▒n uyumlu beraberli─či hayat─▒ vazge├žilmez k─▒lan.
Se├žmi┼č oldu─čumuz hayatlar─▒ ya┼čamakta oldu─čumuz bilincine vard─▒─č─▒m─▒zda ise hayat bir ├ži├žek gibi a├ž─▒lmaya ba┼čl─▒yor ve zaman zamanda olsa hayallerinin ger├žek olmaya ba┼člad─▒─č─▒na tan─▒k oluyorsun… Kendi ger├že─čini, hayat─▒n─▒ kendin yaratmaya ba┼čl─▒yorsun ad─▒m ad─▒m ve yolculuk yepyeni bir anlam ta┼č─▒maya ba┼čl─▒yor b├Âylece! Hayat─▒ndaki t├╝m kar┼č─▒t de─čerlere ra─čmen ve belki de biraz onlar sayesinde ya┼čamaya de─čer, dopdolu bir hayat!

Team Istrunbul, Bebek, Istanbul Team Istrunbul, Bebek, Istanbul[/captio